Tuesday, February 24, 2015

February 24, 2015

Opposites Attract
February 24, 2015


My husband coming in from a job today. 
 The temperature was about 41 degrees.

Most people have heard the saying, "Opposites attract" applied to marriage.  There is a lot of truth in that statement.  Ron and I often comment on couples where one is quiet, studious, and serious and the other is fun-loving, chatty, and knows everyone in the room. 

This summer Ron and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary.  We love each other a lot, and we are rather opposite.  This cold weather brings out one of the obvious ways we differ.  This morning when I got up, the temperature was 39 degrees and the wind chill was 31. It took almost all day for the temperature to get to 43 degrees with a wind chill of 41.  The above photo shows how Ron dressed for the day.  He had on either 4 or 5 layers including a hoodie and a hat.  Below is the way I dressed for the day.
As I came into the office this morning I carried (not wore) a light jacket in case I needed it (I didn't).  I was pretty comfortable in the office all day.  I admit, Ron went out on a job, but I went out on an errand and didn't even take the jacket with me.  If I had to be working out in the cold, I probably would have worn a jacket, but usually I am not out in the weather very long. 
Here is the office thermostat set on 69 degrees.  Ron kept at least 2 layers on all the time.  I drank iced drinks all day and Ron was constantly reheating his coffee in the microwave.  I was born and grew up in Brownsville in deep South Texas.  He was born and grew up in North Texas, not far from Dallas.  You would think he would be able to take the cold and I wouldn't.  In truth, he has found out in the last year that he has a thyroid problem that probably accounts for why he is so cold all of the time.  I have had a thyroid condition for 6 or more years and maybe mine accounts for my reaction being the opposite.  Our conditions both are thyroid related, but not the same condition.

Back to the fact that opposites attract.  In high school we took tests that showed our interests and abilities and then suggested possible career directions.  I have always said that Ron and I fit the scripture in the Bible that says in marriage the two shall become one.  On my test, I scored a 1% in mechanical and Ron scored a 99%.  I scored a 99% in music and he scored a 1%.  Together we make a whole.  I must say that the most touching gift I ever received from Ron was season concert tickets to the Houston symphony orchestra when we were living in Houston early in our marriage.  Financially it was a sacrificial gift and it was so thoughtful because I knew it was not something he wanted to do.  We had the two tickets and both went to the first concert.  After that he let me select a friend to take. 

With my hearing loss, the inability to hear and enjoy music as it really sounds is maybe my greatest loss.  I can hear voices of loved ones and can carry on conversations and although many things can be a struggle, the music is just about hopeless.  Ron commented a couple of days ago how the Chick-fil-A we were in was playing Christian music and I said, "What music?"  Normally that type of music is totally lost to me.  All I hear is noise that I don't even recognize as music.  I was completely unaware that music was playing. 

Marriage is not a 50/50 partnership, it is 100/100.  Both must give their all for a marriage to work.  That doesn't mean that Ron had to like the music I did, but it meant that when he sacrificed to provide beautiful music for me, he went the extra mile for me.  When he encourages me to go to the quilt festivals in Houston every year, it is because he wants me to do something I love.  When he goes along and carries my packages, it is a REAL sacrifice.  When I get up early and make his coffee every morning (I never drink coffee), it is a sacrifice but it is for the good of our marriage.  Our joke about the coffee is that I bring it to him in bed every morning, but I set it across the room so he will have to get up to get it.  I am a morning person and he is not.

When Ron mows the yard, it really bothers his allergies.  I love to mow the yard and although I have a lot of allergy trouble, mowing the yard is not one of the things that aggravates mine.  He often feels guilty when I am out there mowing in the heat of the summer, but I really don't mind.  In the very hottest of times, he will do it to save me from the heat and when I broke my elbow he did it or got our grandsons to do it.  Years ago, he hired a man to have a crew do the front yard every week so that I only do the back yard and if I don't have time, it can be put off.  No one sees our back yard except us (and the house across the resaca). 

I must tell you that at this point of the blog I am sitting here laughing.  I was getting warm and headed into the dining room where the thermostat is located, to lower it one degree.  Ron was just walking into the dining room looking for me to help him put on another layer.  He is having trouble with his shoulder and needed my help.  He allowed me to lower the thermostat, but may be back soon with another layer to put on.

There must be give and take in a marriage to make it work, but there are also areas where the couple needs to be in full agreement.  They need to both love the Lord with all their hearts.  Not only does God become the center of that marriage, but they need to both want to be in church and it is by far best if they want to be a part of the same church body.  This is not an area where being opposites compliments the marriage.  They need to agree on having or not having a family.  That is not something where one should have to give up what they want.  Being forced into a decision about having or not having children should be settled before marriage.

Overall goals need to be aimed in the same direction.  Some things are minor goals, such as "Where shall we go on vacation?"  If the desires are very different, they will probably need to vary the choices.  Thankfully we both love the mountains.  We love waterfalls and will hike a long way to see a beautiful one.  I love the beach.  Ron doesn't.  Over the years we came to the compromise that I would swim, the kids would hunt shells, build sandcastles, or swim, and Ron would wear his steel toed shoes and build a bonfire.  He does not like sand between his toes.  If I could, I would live at the beach.  He would never make that choice. When he and I go to the island for a weekend, I know it is one of those sacrifices he makes for me.

So, I love my guy, in so many layers of clothing that he can't remember which layer has the cell phone and has to check lots of pockets to find it when it starts ringing.  He loves me and adds layers so that I don't have a heat stroke. I think I will keep him!

2 comments:

  1. YES! He is a keeper!! One of the sweetest men I've ever known, and it's easy to see how much he loves you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Tiny. I have been thankful that I have never had reason to doubt his love for me. God knew who I needed in my life.

      Delete